These days it seems there is no shortage of topics to disagree on. Trump? Trudeau? COVID19?
Climate Change? Conspiracy theories? How do you react when faced with a point of view that
is different from your own?
Recently I read a book entitled “I’m Right and You’re an Idiot” by James Hoggan. Isn’t that
exactly what we’re muttering under our breath so often these days? I have to admit it is often
my first reaction when I hear the latest opinions on the street or when scrolling through social
media.
The book challenged me to listen to those whose opinions and beliefs differ from mine. Like
really listen. Not the kind of listening where we are actually just waiting for the chance to say
our piece, but listening with the kind of curiosity that helps us learn where someone is coming
from. To hear their story. To uncover the background for their beliefs.
A high school history teacher had us do an exercise where we all listed the first 5 things that
happened in class that day. Not surprising, all of our lists were different. Our lists depended on
where we were sitting, what caught our attention, what we thought was important enough to
write down and so on. No one was right and no one was an idiot.
Our lists were a product of our perspective, and to understand perspective, we must throw out
the notion of right and wrong. To understand perspective, we have to get curious. We must be
open to learning more about where someone is coming from. We would need to cross the room
and sit in someone else’s desk for a while and see the world from their vantage point. This is
hard work.
The book encouraged readers to engage in dialogue, not debate. In a debate, the goal is to be
right and to convince others of your point of view. In dialogue, we assume that we each have
something to learn from each other. But what about when dialogue seems impossible?
I have no answers, but I do know that living with the mindset that we are all doing our best is a
helpful way forward. Everyone feels justified in their beliefs. Everyone feels they have good
reason to think the way they do. Everyone is doing the best they can.
What does any of this have to do with sustainability? One thing I think we can all agree on is that
we’ve got some big problems to face in the world, but we’re not going to solve them when we
remain in the “I’m right and you’re an idiot” stance. Big problems require us to come together,
to cooperate and collaborate. Big problems require us to find common ground and to respect
each other’s perspectives. Maybe the only idiots are ourselves when we can’t hold space for
another’s point of view.
Connie Heppner Mueller for ACAN.
ACAN seeks to educate and inspire sustainable practices in our community.
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